Jill's gone.
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Thread: Jill's gone.

  1. #1
    KathyArch is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultJill's gone.

    I should be kicked in the a$$ for ever allowing her to come here to begin with. Should have stood up to my husband and just said NO. Jack's too young. We don't have the room. We don't really have the money. We don't have the skill or knowledge to train/help her. The whole thing sucked. I couldn't keep her out of the road. I could have her on her leash and a quick toss of her head...she was gone. Bought her a choke collar...she got off. Bought her a harness...same thing. Always to the road. We have a huge empty field on one side of us, woods in the back. She always went for the road. I just knew sooner or later I'd stand there screaming her name as a car hit her. I cried over her every day. My husband and I fought over her every day. He worships Cesar Millan, I dissagree with a lot of his ideas. I read a lot on the internet, he was determined everything I read was wrong. Jack was beginning to act different. Not listening as well. Hesitating before minding. Partly his age~his teen years....part of it I blamed on Jill, she was definately the leader of the two. I cared for her, liked her a lot. But wasn't bonded yet. We spoke on the phone and via e-mail with the lady that took her. She has a large fenced-in yard and has experience with rescue dogs. She's retired so she's home all day. No other dogs. I think/hope it's a good fit. Of course people will say what they think you want to hear, but I have no reason to believe she won't love and care for Jill. My mother-in-law (where the poor girl originally showed up) has disowned her son (my husband) for letting the dog go. I failed Jill. I tried to love her, I tried to train her. Maybe I didn't give her enough time. How many days do I cry and argue with my husband? How many days are enough? So she gets shipped off to yet another place, still looking for a place to fit in, a place to call home. And I'm sitting her crying, trying to explain to total strangers who don't know me at all, who will never know me, how I feel. So know what? I'm asking for no replies to this thread. I don't deserve any kind words, and I can't take any rude ones. I just felt I needed to let everyone who'd been so kind to me know that I am a failure. I let Jill down. I only hope her new Mom is a better woman than this one was.

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  3. #2
    amazongold's Avatar
    amazongold is offline Senior Member
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    Kathy, you tried. You gave it your best, she was just more than you were able to handle. You didn't dump her in a shelter, you gave her to someone who has experience with rescues.

    Don't beat yourself up.
    Jackie, Champ, and Buddy

  4. #3
    dek
    dek is offline Senior Member
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    It is not failure to realize a situation is more than you can handle. It sounds like you found her a good home and I agree with Jackie - don't beat yourself up. Spend some quality time with your husband and with Jack. Maybe this is the right answer for Jill.



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  6. #4
    Kori is offline Senior Member
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    I agree with what's been said, you really tried, your commitment to try and help her came thru in your posts, it just wasn't meant to be. Please, don't beat yourself up.

    I really understand what you're feeling, before we adopted Java we took in a friend's Lab; she was sweet but had no manners. We decided we could work with her, train her, and things would be good, but it wasn't to be. She went after Joe twice over toys, when my friend came to pick her up I suggested she might be better suited to a one dog home and that's where she ended up. They have trained her, tried to socialize her and she did get better. Everything happens for a reason, I believe.
    Last edited by Kori; 04-02-2013 at 09:29 PM.

  7. #5
    tammyhuffman is offline Senior Member
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    Ditto all the above. You did the best thing for her you could possibly have done. Don't beat yourself up for being selfless. It seems you did the best for her you could, you need to acknowledge that. Hugs to you.
    Tammy
    Maxx & Emma Jean
    Ozzy - 10/16/02 - 06/28/11 - Always in my heart.

    Sometimes the hardest part isn't letting go - but learning to start over.

  8. #6
    Lilprincee's Avatar
    Lilprincee is offline Senior Member
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    I agree with the others - hopefully this is the answer for Jill. You tried and you know it wasn't the right thing so don't beat yourself up. (((hugs)))
    [IMG]/[/IMG]

  9. #7
    Labradorable's Avatar
    Labradorable is offline Senior Member
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    (((hugs)))
    ~Samantha
    Dozer (04/01/09) & Moose (01/02/13)
    Cybil (02/02/00 - 02/20/09)



  10. #8
    smokey's Avatar
    smokey is offline Senior Member
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    I agree with the others. Not easy for you but don't think you failed her, by letting her go to someone with experience you may have saved her!
    Smokey 4/25/2012

  11. #9
    Dani's Avatar
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    If you don't have the skill or knowledge to help her then how do you have the skill or knowledge to train Jack? It's no different than if you were to get another puppy. I'm not saying that you should have kept her, but this mid-Michigan mentality of dumping dogs irks me. She should have been trained from the moment you took her as if she was an 8 week old puppy. Doesn't matter that she's 4 years old. She needed to understand your house rules...period, that is, if you have any. Yes, it's inconvenient to have one dog on leash and one dog off. Yes, it's inconvenient to have one dog crated and one dog not. That's the breaks. Not all dogs are the same. I have two dogs I raised from puppies and one STILL needs to be crated and he's 6 years old. I have had foster dogs that have been more trustworthy out of the crate than my own dog.

    But yes, you should have probably passed on her in the first place.
    Dani, Rider & Rookie
    SHR Watson's Safari Rider, JH, WC, CL1-R, RA, CGC, TDI
    SHR Endeavor Put Me In Coach, RN, WC, CGC

    Member Since 6/2003

  12. #10
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    Jenylynne is offline Senior Member
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    I'm sorry you feel like you failed. Sometimes we do things with good intent and wanting the best in a situation and it just doesn't work out. It doesnt make you a bad person or a failure. It makes you human.

    Having two dogs, I can tell you it is a lot of work. It isn't for everyone. And I really don't think your inability to keep Jill is any reflection on your ability to train and care for Jack. That's a very hurtful thing to say in an already hard situation.

    You did the right thing by finding her a home. I'm sorry you are so upset with yourself.
    Jen


    Cleo, our black beauty


    Zeus, our yellow, mellow, fellow

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