Having a hard time, just need a little support from others
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Thread: Having a hard time, just need a little support from others

  1. #1
    Newpuppyownersami is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultHaving a hard time, just need a little support from others

    So I recently posted about my moms puppy. She was 15 months old and this Friday she was hit and killed by a car. My husband and I adopted a lab/greyhound mix last month (how I found this place). I am still hurting, I loved that puppy so much, she was always so happy. But now I look at our puppy and all I can think is "why is my baby here and hers isn't, it's not fair." I am feeling guilty that my baby is alive and hers isn't. I keep crying for her and the pain my mom is going through. I don't want Hera, our pup, to notice that I'm feeling this way, I don't want her to feel unwanted. It is just so unfair.
    For those that have read about Hera I just wanted to say she is doing good. She and our youngest cat get along so well and she even cleans him. Also we introduced her to his brothers dogs and she loves their puppy, they have so much fun playing! She is now worm free as well.
    I need any advice or story, I want to be able to look at our puppy and not feel guilty.

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    BigBrownDog is offline Senior Member
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    I'm sorry that you feel as you do, but really can't empathize as I can't understand why your mother's misfortune makes you feel guilty that your puppy is alive. Your guilt does not benefit your mother or make her feel better, right? Seems a wasted emotion to me.

    Perhaps it would be a positive for you to make a donation in memory of the dog your mom lost to the shelter you got your puppy from.
    Sharon, Blaise and Diesel.

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    Newpuppyownersami is offline Senior Member
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    It wasn't just her puppy, I spent time with her every day she was family to me. I guess guilt was maybe the wrong word, I just don't see why I get to have my puppy who makes me happy while my mom is hurting as much as she is because she lost her puppy.

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    Sophiesmama is offline Senior Member
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    I think it is a form of survivor's guilt. People feel guilty when they are alive and a loved one has died. My 15 year old son has gone through this for years. His best friend died in his arms at track practice at school. He felt like his friend was the "good one", and he had to die, and that being the "bad one" and being the one to survive was not fair. It seems like a similar thing you are going through. You feel guilty that your puppy is here for you to love and she comforts you. You will move past the guilt and come out ok, but it may take awhile. Just keep loving your Hera. Dogs are smart and can sense it when something is wrong.
    ~Pam



    Sophie DOB 04/13/2011 6 mo


    8.5 mo.

    Sophie 15 months, with Skye

  7. #5
    Nexxana is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sophiesmama View Post
    I think it is a form of survivor's guilt. People feel guilty when they are alive and a loved one has died. My 15 year old son has gone through this for years. His best friend died in his arms at track practice at school. He felt like his friend was the "good one", and he had to die, and that being the "bad one" and being the one to survive was not fair. It seems like a similar thing you are going through. You feel guilty that your puppy is here for you to love and she comforts you. You will move past the guilt and come out ok, but it may take awhile. Just keep loving your Hera. Dogs are smart and can sense it when something is wrong.
    Beautifully said and i totally agree with this.

    I'm sorry for the loss of your mum's little one but im sure this phase will pass in time.

  8. #6
    Newpuppyownersami is offline Senior Member
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    Thank you Pam i think you're right, I will look into it. I am sorry to hear about your son. to many kids die in high school. Like I said I don't want her to feel like something is wrong. I do love her and my goal is for her to be as happy as possible

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