I'm a huge A-hole, please judge me... thank you.
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Thread: I'm a huge A-hole, please judge me... thank you.

  1. #1
    sleepyjack is offline Junior Member
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    Updating this- Abbey has been happily home with us for over a week, just in case you wanted to know. Things are going well.

    Looking back, I cannot comprehend how I allowed my husband to drive away with my baby in the car. All I can guess is that seeing Jack injured- limping, bleeding muzzle ripped wide open and with a broken tooth- must have clouded my judgement.

    The dogs are never left together unattended even for a second now. We are taking things very slowly. I have enlisted the help of a local trainer.
    Last edited by sleepyjack; 09-14-2012 at 07:06 PM. Reason: update

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  3. #2
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    Sophiesmama is offline Senior Member
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    You said you let Abbey go for a test drive. Does that mean that you were just letting her go to see how a lab worked for the other family? Or was it a test for you to rehome her. I have to say, I am pretty shocked here. You had her all these years, and get a new pup and he takes presidence? I don't get that one. It is your job to ease the new puppy into Abbey's life, not the other way around. She was there first. You brought him into her home. it was your responsibility to watch the dogs, Nascar or easels not withstanding. With that said, get yourself in your car, drive over there and get her back. Poor Abbey was upsurped by a new puppy... she should be home, and you need to be willing to make sure the puppy doesn't get hurt by her. I would imagine he was being an energetic pup and she was tired of playing and nailed him. You got it, it was your fault...or maybe nascar's fault....Now with all this said, stop beating yourself up over this and make it right. Please let us know what you decide to do....I am going to bed and this story is kind of haunting me....
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    kassabella is offline Senior Member
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    Did you and the other person agree it was trial to see if it worked out for them.

    I am not going to judge, but tell you a story from the side of a person who adopted a dog and the owner came and took it back.

    I had been looking for another Lab and just over a year ago I finally found one. Zoe a most adorable 2 year old black Lab. She fitted into out house as if she had been here all her life. All was great until her owner called to say they wanted her back 3-4 weeks later. But...you had given her to me...I gave her back because they new where I lived and could come and take her. I could have fought, but they could have become nasty and hurt Erns. It was awful.
    Perhaps like me she will give you the dog back, rather than just take it.
    Last edited by kassabella; 09-03-2012 at 09:52 AM.

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  6. #4
    spiritedfilly115's Avatar
    spiritedfilly115 is offline Senior Member
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    "she is actually a sort of relation, in a way, so I let my Abbey go on a test drive with her last Monday."

    Does this mean she is an extended family member and she took Abbey to see if she fit well?
    In my opinion, if it was a test period, plus if it's family, then you should be able to say we / I made a mistake and bring her back home.

    I really do feel for you and hope it all works out for you and Abbey!





  7. #5
    mitziandjudysmom's Avatar
    mitziandjudysmom is offline Senior Member
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    Is Abby in a stable loving home now? Is she being cared for well? If you really love her, put her first and do what's best for her and stop worrying about your own feelings and regrets.

  8. #6
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    smokey is offline Senior Member
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    and she is actually a sort of relation, in a way, so I let my Abbey go on a test drive with her last Monday.
    Have you since spoken with her and come to the agreement that she was to stay with them? If not the test run could be over with your decision that your household is incomplete without her.

    Are you certain that if in the future she gets after the puppy again you will not want her out of your home again? Have you considered "what if"?

    I'm not trying to be rude, just trying to reason in fairness for Abbey, bouncing from home to home is stressful for her. Loving a family for 5 years and being uprooted to a new one is stressful for her.

    I hope things work out for the best, Good Luck.
    Smokey 4/25/2012

  9. #7
    tammyhuffman is offline Senior Member
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    You may have deleted your post but the replies give the general idea of what has happened. This just makes me so sad for Abbey. Dogs are not disposable, grow up and put your big boy pants on.
    Tammy
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    Ozzy - 10/16/02 - 06/28/11 - Always in my heart.

    Sometimes the hardest part isn't letting go - but learning to start over.

  10. #8
    sleepyjack is offline Junior Member
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    I'd like to update.... Abbey has been home and happy with us for over a week now. I've had help from a local professional dog trainer, and things are going pretty well.
    Last edited by sleepyjack; 09-14-2012 at 07:04 PM.

  11. #9
    tammyhuffman is offline Senior Member
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    Glad to hear this is being worked on, Abbey did not deserve to be sent away, poor girl.
    Tammy
    Maxx & Emma Jean
    Ozzy - 10/16/02 - 06/28/11 - Always in my heart.

    Sometimes the hardest part isn't letting go - but learning to start over.

  12. #10
    sleepyjack is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by tammyhuffman View Post
    Glad to hear this is being worked on, Abbey did not deserve to be sent away, poor girl.
    Poor girl exactly. And NO, SHE DID NOT DESERVE TO BE SENT AWAY!!!!!!!! She is my love, and my 3 year old's love. My 3 year old refused to use the potty while Abbey was absent that week. I'm happy to say everything is well now. Extra attention to Abbey and puppy kindergarten for Jack has done wonders for us. As well as one-on-one with a trainer. I thank all you nice positive people for your support, and I have to say ... Life is back to perfect with my Abbey here. Let's not speak of why she went away that week, ever again, Please. It was more of my husband's decision than mine. Once he realised that meant the end for us, Abbey came home to me. I had been asking since the first 6 hours gone that she needed to come home. He did not listen, He flat out refused. I brought her home myself. After many attempts to contact the person that week, I just showed up unannounced, and took her home. It was scary and magical. Abbey loves me so much, and I love her more than that. I hauled ass out of there like I was breaking the law- but I was just taking my baby home.

    I am not a hideous person that gives up on a dog. Actually, quite far from that. I regret that I let her hop in the truck to leave with him, and I wish to delete that somehow. BUT- she IS home. My baby Abbey sleeps with her head on my leg, again. Happy. Her little brother Jack is nicely crate trained in another room. They are getting along well, now. Never a second unsupervised together, and there will not be until I am completely sure that she no longer holds a grudge against him. Until I am 100% satisfied that they are happy being together. Even then I will be cautious. After all, she really did tear his face open, horribly. And she has had some dog-fight issues in the past, with family member's dog's, both of them were Rott's. I might have not properly socialise Abbey as a pup. She spent her days with us and an aging GSD, and 3 cats. After about 1.5 years, she started going to the dog park. She seemed great. Then later, once her big sister was gone to heaven,she started to act badly. So we let her be an only dog for 3 years.
    Now we have Jack. And my gosh, does he ever love her! It's hard to keep them apart. My hubbs is scared stiff whenever Jack even licks Abbey, But I know it's just normal behavior, and he is showing submission when he licks her chin. I just pull him off when she loooks annoyed after some ear chewing and it looks like she just wants to play fetch with me only.

    No one has been bit or hurt since. Jack is a sweet puppy. Abbey is a dog that has been through too much, and realsises how much we do love her... SO MUCH! I seriously could not function with her gone. It was the worst week of my life. And I have seen some shit. But seriously, this ranks right up there.

    So yeah, thanks for all the "Judging me because I'm a huge A-hole" I do appreciate that. Thanks to one special "friend" that took the time to personally PM me and help to set me straight. She knows more of the intimate details that i have not shared publicly.

    SO Thanks all-- ABBEY IS HOME! And doing well with Jack. I will be taking them to obedience together this fall, with the help of my DH. I'll have to wear the 3 year old (human) on my back, :backcarry: but it'll be worth it, for all involved.

    Thanks folks for helping me get my baby back!

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