How would you feel if someone insulted your dog? **Very Long... sorry**
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Thread: How would you feel if someone insulted your dog? **Very Long... sorry**

  1. #1
    HeySquirt's Avatar
    HeySquirt is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultHow would you feel if someone insulted your dog? **Very Long... sorry**

    This post has been a month in the making... So please bare with me.

    When I found this forum about a year ago (I lurked for awhile).
    I joined shortly after we brought Emmett home, I had read some of the silver threads and wasn't quite sure I was prepared for possible attacks... Don't take that the wrong way if you go back and read some of the stuff that's written on those threads it's nasty, heck look at the one that has come up again.

    Emmett is my first lab and he is a lab. He is not some designer mutt that I paid some stupid high price for (not that $$ is anyones business). I came looking for Lab knowledge and honestly it amazes me how different they are from other breeds.I didn't come looking for a fight or even to get into a silver lab debate... For the most part I have been welcomed and my questions answered, I have avoided almost all of the silver threads... and this leads me to the reason for my post.

    About a month ago I went on a scrapbooking weekend with a group of friends. We were at a ski resort in Northern Michigan with over 300 ladies. It was a great time... scrapbooking is like therapy for me.
    Anyway...
    I, of course, was scrapping a lot of Emmett (let's just say I don't think his first year will fit in one album LOL) I was walking back from the vedor area and I stopped and looked at layout (some people leave pages out that need to dry, or are really cute...)it was a great photo of her kids and hubby walking away with the dog I told her how awesome it was and she showed me a couple of when the dog was a pup... I asked her what kind of dog it was (I actually thought doodle from the puppy pics and didn't want to insult her.. good thing) it was a Golden. We chatted for a minute and moved on.
    Later that day I had a layout of Emmett that had a couple people stop and compliment me on (it's a pretty cool layout).
    These two ladies come over and one is saying to the other "This is great, look at this and such a cute dog." The other lady looks at it while the first lady was asking me if he graduated obiedience (he's whereing a grad cap and tassle) I told her he had. The second lady then yells out (it was pretty loud and I don't know if she was actually yelling to anyone) "Look a Weim that actually graduated obedience" The first lady says "he doesn't look like a weim, what is he" Deep sigh from me... I said he's a chocolate lab but because of his coloring they call him a silver. (Yes this is always how I answer that question) Then the second lady says to me "Does he have skin problems yet?" To which I looked at my two friends who were sitting by me and one had the look of "WTF is happening" and the other who just kept glancing up at me waiting for me to explode. I responded with a very hostile "No". Lady #1 looked very uncomfortable at this point and was ready to move along. It took me a minute before I realized that lady #2 was the lady I had stopped and talked to with the Golden...

    One of my very first thoughts was she could be on this forum from the posts I've read about people confronting people with "silvers" to "educate" them.

    What the hell is wrong with people???? First if he was a Weim or any breed for that matter you just insulted my dog by acting all shocked that he graduated from obiedence. Then to just be rude and snotty and ask me if he has skin problems yet... Seriously?!?!? Get the F**k away from me. Then for me to realize that I had not 10 minutes before had a pleasent conversation with this person.

    I know how passionate quite a few on here are about the breeding of silvers and I respect that (I really do). But to confront someone because of the dog they own is just wrong... and to play it off like your trying to educate someone who doesn't know any better is a crock (that is an excuse to try and justify your ignorant actions).

    Edit: to add photo of scrapbook page
    Last edited by HeySquirt; 10-31-2011 at 11:58 PM.
    Amy

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    Neska74 is offline Senior Member
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    Ignoring the whole "silver" issue here and just repling to the fact about their rude comments, I'd say that it would tick me off too. I had a neighbout refer to Saba as fat a few times. To which I replied ever time that he's an English Lab (bench) not American (field) and therefore he's got a stocky build, but he is nowhere near fat. He's just perfect, even the vet says so. Some people are just bitchy that way.

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    kassabella is offline Senior Member
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    To answer your question.I think many if not all of us are protective of our dogs.
    I am happy with my dog, so don't care what people say unless it has some truth. Not about the colour, but more behaviour. I was constantly told "your dog needs obedience" Well maybe yes, but some days I couldn't control him. I am sure over the years many on here have thought Erns does. When he was sick he lost so much weight a woman asked if he was a spaniel, or another said he isn't a Roughfields.

    People will always give advice on your dogs rash, or weight or height, or what are you feeding, or how long your lead is.

    I am happy with my dog no matter what colour, size or even Tessa being so awful looking at first.

    Remeber why you bought home the dog you have, what makes you happy, the love you have for each other, be proud of your dog and who cares what others think.

    sorry you were hurt.

    Kassa 25/11/01 - 09/02/05 O.S Jaw cancer forever in my heart.
    Ernie 25/11/01 adopted May 05
    Sam 11? adopted Nov 06 - 18/12/07 Lyphoma
    Tessa. Rescued June 2011.
    Bone Cancer Dogs org.http://www.bonecancerdogs.org/
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    BigBrownDog is offline Senior Member
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    If it makes you feel any better, here is this story.

    I had Blaise at the dog run earlier this week (which I rarely do) and all the other dogs in the run were Labs or Lab mixes. Blaise is a bench bred dog. Really well bred. He is stocky like many bench bred dogs are. The other Labs in the run were pet bred. Blaise has a ton of bone, deep chest, heavy coat - he's pretty bulky looking.

    The other Lab owners in the run immediately started commenting on how fat Blaise is. He's not - he just doesn't look like a pet bred Lab and that is what most people are used to looking at. I did not turn around and comment on how very, very far from the breed standard their weedy, single-coated, curly-tailed Labs were - I just ignored them.

    I'm sorry this woman upset you.
    Sharon, Blaise and Diesel.

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    MidwestGirl is offline Senior Member
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    She sounds like a rude know it all.

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    HeySquirt --

    I want to say something I intend to be kind and helpful, but that I realize may sound like criticism...I'll take the chance -- but understand my intent is to be kind and helpful, and not AT ALL critical...

    I wonder if possibly you may feel a bit "sensitive" about your dog due to what you THINK someone MAY say...I sort of sense that in your post, and I don't think you need to feel "sensitive" for any reason...

    What I am saying is, that lady was "rude" in her approach. No doubt. I personally would never go up to someone I didn't know, and say "oh look, a (fill in the blank dog breed) that actually graduated obedience." That is insensitive and rude. My 10-year old daughter's sense of humor is to tease, and to be sarcastic. Knowing this, we have talked to her several times about that "style" of humor, and that you should ONLY use it with people you know, and who know you -- as they will understand how to "take" your humor. But, that type of sarcastic humor, used on a stranger who doesn't know you, can be taken very hard and hurtfully. It's called TEACHING SENSITIVITY. Apparently, Lady #2 hasn't learned that. IF that happens to be Lady #2's style of humor, she has not learned to be careful with it. More likely though, she's just got a problem with rudeness and insensitivity. So be it -- her problem, not yours. It stinks that you got hurt.

    But, let's assume for just a minute, give her the benefit of the doubt, and assume that it was a poor attempt at humor. Then, she follows that up with "does he have skin problems yet?" Is it POSSIBLE that she knew something about either a chocolate or a silver lab that, in her mind, they tend toward skin issues, and she was -- again, in her insensitive, tactless way -- asking a serious question, i.e., showing "care" in her own misguided way? The reason I ask is NOT to "defend" this lady, but that if it was me and my Lab in your picture, and the lady said "oh look, a Lab that graduated obedience," I would have smiled, rolled my eyes a bit, and said something like "yeah, they can be a hard-headed breed at times." Then, when she asked about "having any skin problems yet," I would have said, "no, why -- do some Labs have skin issues?" And, other than rolling my eyes and thinking "well, SHE'S not very sensitive," I am thinking it would not have bothered me as much as it did you -- and that's why I wonder if you feel a need to "defend" your pup, but that you REALLY DON'T. He's your beloved pet and clearly he means alot to you. That's TERRIFIC. I don't feel you have to defend yourself to the type of rude lady you met. You really don't.

    I know I was not there, so I did not see her attitude or facial expressions. Her attitude and body language and all may have been even more rude, and thus your reaction. But at the same time, I wonder if you are also so "ready to defend," or "feeling like you HAVE to defend" your pup that sometimes you might read just a little bit more into some situations? I just thought it might be something to think about -- because in my opinion you have nothing to be defensive about. Some folks have different thoughts on the issues than you do, so WHAT? Does that make them "RIGHT" and you "WRONG?" No, it does not. You are entitled to think and feel however you wish, and anyone who disagrees with you is also free to do so. It's OK!

    That person who "confronted" you clearly lacks tact and respect and sensitivity. In my experience, there are alot of folks like that. They live a pretty sad life. You don't have to. I am sure you have a great dog -- no need in my opinion to be defensive, and if someone wants to be rude to you, it's sad, but it is THEIR problem, not yours. I love this quote from "Princess Diaries" (I have a young daughter ) It is apparently from Eleanor Roosevelt originally, and it says "No one can make you feel inferior, without your consent." It's true.

    I hope you understand where I am coming from; in the mean time, I'm sorry you were hurt. It stinks to encounter rude/obnoxious people.

    And now, after I type what I THINK is good advice, I'll show how good I am at taking my own advice (NOT!), when I address Sharon...

    Sharon -- do you realize how you insensitive you just were to all of us on this board who happen to prefer, and own, those "very, very far from breed standard, single-coated, etc. etc. etc." field-bred (or what you call, "pet-bred") Labradors? Didn't you just do the very same thing that you are saying that those folks at the dog run did to you? Man, I sure hope Amy's dog is a "bench/English-bred" Lab, and not a "field/American-bred" -- because if it's not, then instead of making her "feel better," as you said you were trying to do, you may have just made things even worse.

    As for me, I'm cool with whatever you think of my very, very far from breed standard, single-coated, pet-bred dog (there, I took my own advice )!

    Steve
    Last edited by steveandginger; 10-28-2011 at 05:59 PM.

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    BigBrownDog is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by steveandginger View Post
    .

    And now, after I type what I THINK is good advice, I'll show how good I am at taking my own advice (NOT!), when I address Sharon...

    Sharon -- do you realize how you insensitive you just were to all of us on this board who happen to prefer, and own, those "very, very far from breed standard, single-coated, etc. etc. etc." field-bred (or what you call, "pet-bred") Labradors? Didn't you just do the very same thing that you are saying that those folks at the dog run did to you? Man, I sure hope Amy's dog is a "bench/English-bred" Lab, and not a "field/American-bred" -- because if it's not, then instead of making her "feel better," as you said you were trying to do, you may have just made things even worse.
    The breed standard is not my invention. It is what it is. What I said above is not judgement of the WORTH of their dog - it is stating simple fact that those other dogs were not close to the breed standard. So I thought it a bit ironic that they were making fun of MY dog's appearance.

    I have 2 Labs - the one I don't mention in this thread since he was not at the dog run is quite not to breed standard. He has a single coat, is very tall and his tail is curly/placed quite high (and a few other things as well which I'll skip). I am the first to point out his lack of adherance to the breed standard and would hardly be offended if someone else conversant in this breed did so as well. He is probably pet bred - don't know since he is a rescue. He's cute - their Labs were cute.

    So - If I stated something that indicated that I thought their Labs were not worthy somehow due to their appearance - you might have a case - but I did not say that, did I? You read into it - you were being the overly sensitive one.
    Last edited by BigBrownDog; 10-28-2011 at 06:42 PM.
    Sharon, Blaise and Diesel.

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    steveandginger's Avatar
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    Sharon --

    I KNOW I was being "over sensitive!" That's what I found funny -- that I typed all of that message to Amy, and then had a slightly "offended" knee-jerk reaction to YOUR comments! It's all good.

    But, I didn't think I "read anything into it" since you WERE making an "unfavorable" judgement of their dogs based on appearance, no?

    I thought, from prior research when we got Misty 5 years ago (I could be wrong, it's been a long time) that the breed standard was expanded sometime back in the, say, 1930s or so, to ALLOW the standard to include a taller/leaner Lab (like the American-bred)...no?

    Steve

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    BigBrownDog is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by steveandginger View Post

    But, I didn't think I "read anything into it" since you WERE making an "unfavorable" judgement of their dogs based on appearance, no?

    I thought, from prior research when we got Misty 5 years ago (I could be wrong, it's been a long time) that the breed standard was expanded sometime back in the, say, 1930s or so, to ALLOW the standard to include a taller/leaner Lab (like the American-bred)...no?

    Steve
    If I said - "the sky is blue" would that be a judgement or a statement of fact? If I said "Blue skies are ugly" - that would be a criticism. I was merely stating facts. Here for your review is the breed standard.

    Breed Standard - The Labrador Retriever Club, Inc.
    Sharon, Blaise and Diesel.

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    Tanya is offline Senior Member
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    it isn't unfair or judgemental to say a dog is not as per the breed standard. it isn't saying the dog is ugly, it isn't saying the dog is worthless. it is saying the dog DOES NOT fit into the standard.

    I say this ALL THE TIME about my very own dog. I love Rocky to bits, I LOVE how he looks. But I am the FIRST to state he looks NOTHING like the lab standard or how a lab "should" look. It is simply a fact. not an insult. I usually bring it up because people will say how great he looks "for a lab". no he doesn't look great "for a lab" he isn't bred to the lab standard one bit (he was adopted from a rescue but we know his history and the the is indeed pure bred).

    It is like saying most of the members here (me included) have pet bred dogs. it isn't meant as an insult - it is simply a fact. a majority of people get their dogs from people breeding labs that are simply pets (do not perform in any venue) so that means they are producing a litter of pet bred labs. it is what it is.


    now, I don't go around telling others their dogs doesn'T fit the standard.
    Charlie (foster) and Rocky

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