Jakey’s breeding experience or Jake at his finest

[labby]

WARNING: if reading about dogs breeding offends you, leave now


So, I take Jake down to Leader Dog for his first “real” breeding. I’ve been collecting him since he was about seven months old, but he hadn’t been actually used on a girl. His housemate Quinn had been in season a month ago and like a typical boy, drove her crazy with wanting to breed her. Think teenage boy.

Anyway, so Jake and I are in with the vet at LD and the girl, Libby, is already in the large run they use for breeding. She’s flagging up a storm, showing she’s ready to be bred.

Jake: “Duh, hi.”

Libby: “Hi, big guy.”

Jake: “Duh, you smell good.”

They start playing.

I roll my eyes.

Doc and I stand around waiting for Jake to get down to business. Nah, he’d rather lick her and play with her.

Hmmm, wonder if I yelled at him too much for trying to mount Quinn when she was in season. It sure didn’t stop him or Seamus then.

They play some more.

I roll my eyes.

Finally, Jake paws at her neck then moves to her rear. Come on, Jakey! Nope, more cleaning and playing.

Doc: “I’ll put a leash on her and walk her around a bit.”

Me: “I wouldn’t do that.”

Too late, Doc brings out the leash. I see Jake’s eyes light up. Yep, sure enough, he grabs the leash.

I totally lost it.

Doc’s pulling on the leash and Jake’s pulling on the other end.

Jake: “What girl? I’d rather have the leash!”

I’m laughing so hard I’m snorting.

Doc finally gets the leash away from Jake. Poor Libby’s standing there flagging but nobody is paying her any attention.

Libby: “Humph, left for a leash!”

Jake’s staring at the leash, waiting for a chance to grab it again.

Me: “We might as well collect him now. His mind is way off why he’s supposed to be here.”

Doc: “Okay, I’ve got gloves here.”

Me: “No!”

Too late.

Doc pulls the latex gloves out of his pocket. I see Jake’s eyes light up and yes indeedy, he grabs the gloves.

I lose it again.

Doc’s trying to get the latex gloves on and Jake’s trying to take them away. Doc finally got the gloves on and proceeds to collect Jake.

Me: “Be prepared, he’s quick and he’s a walker.”

Doc: “Wow.”

When Jake does his thing, he doesn’t mess around. There is no first faction, just semen, so you better be prepared to collect him immediately or you will lose the sperm part.

Then Jake starts walking with Doc hanging onto him.

I admit, I started laughing again.

Doc’s laughing too. I bet he wasn’t prepared for Jake. What could possibly prepare anyone for Jake?

Doc lets go of Jake since he got the semen portion.

Doc: “I’ll go inseminate Libby.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll be here with Jake for awhile.”

Doc and Libby leave to go to the insemination room.

Jake standing in the kennel run, still exposed. And standing. And standing.

Doc comes back fifteen minutes later. He has already inseminated Libby and taken her back to her run.

Doc: “Still?”

Me: “Yeah, with Jakey you can order and eat a pizza while you wait. I know my way out.”

Doc: “He’s very potent. I couldn’t believe the amount of sperm in the small part I looked at. I’ll call you and let you know when to bring him back.”

Me: “I might still be here.”

Finally, fifteen minutes later, Jake has tucked himself back up and we can leave.

I’m not sure the world is ready for little Jakey’s.

[MidwestGirl]

OMG I would of been doubled over from laughing so hard!!!!!!!!!

[Paddysmom]

Poor Libby. Missed out on a mighty fine time!
Little Jakies... what a delicious notion!

[Jenica]

Too funny! Jakey, what are you doing?

[joflake]

That was funny! Will we get to see pics of little Jakey babies? I sure hope so.

[labby]

Yep, when I go down to see them when they're returned to LD.

[Labradorable]

That's hilarious!

[kaznalf]

HEE HEE MADE ME LAUGHHHHHHHHH

[HersheyK's Dad]

Jakey? I am disappointed in you. Its your Mom's fault for yelling at you so much.

[Di]

So he had a little performance anxiety who can blame the poor thing! Jakey you are so funny