Weekly Emma Story, Part 2
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Thread: Weekly Emma Story, Part 2

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    Emma the Lab's Avatar
    Emma the Lab is offline Senior Member
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    DefaultWeekly Emma Story, Part 2

    15 days since my Angel went to heaven. Still mourning, still in bed, if I'm not at work. They called me in to work yesterday night and I am glad they did.... Who's happy to work on an off Friday night?? It's pathetic, but work is all I got now. Gives me a piece of mind for a few hours, keeps me busy. My life is over, nothing to get me out of bed, when my girl isn't here. Nothing is fun anymore. And I also need the money I earn for something special next spring (and no it's not a dog).

    As many of you know I brought "her" home last Tuesday. I didn't expect her to be ready until next Tuesday, so everything seemed to happened so fast. At least she's home with me where she belongs. Our Vet has been amazing with personal phone contact and support. We've had him at least 5-6 years and both Emma and I loved him from the start. She was special to many of the staff on both the hospital and the clinic. I think I will go down to the clinic with a flower to him before Christmas, to tell him "thank you", don't think my gratitude for him has shown much during this hard time....

    Saturdays mean Emma story times, and that keeps me busy for a few hours. I cry and remember all the fun we had for so many years, yet way too few.

    Christmas.... Emma loved Christmas, so did I so I decided to write about:


    Emma the Christmas Spirit
    Emma loved Christmas, we all did. I loved decorating for her, and I can tell she enjoyed it as much as I did. Her "advent calendar"- with 24 small presents with treats, one present each day until Christmas. I loved making those little gifts. I had to lock her out from the bedroom, so she wouldn't take the treats before I wrapped them or unwrap the finished ones. She waited in the hall, so patiently outside the door, once in a while she nudged the door and snorted. I bet it felt like ages for her until I let her in again and all the presents were neatly put on her calendar on the wall.

    She had her stockings hanging on my chest of drawers. Spoiled girl had two stockings there I putted wrapped gifts for her. She had her own Santa sack, grandma had bought for her. I loved Christmas shopping for her. Since she became the girl who had it all in later years I mainly bought eatable gifts. She had to stay with grandma while I was Christmas shopping. When I came home I wrapped it and put it away to do it later.

    We decorated her little tree together every year. I always bought some new decorations for it, and finally last year I was completely happy with it. You can call me crazy, but Emma loved her Christmas tree. She laid in her bed all nights after I tucked her in, and just watched her tree until she fall asleep. I can tell she was really enjoying all the pretty bulbs and lights in it and I could just sit there and watch her and smile, and I know she was smiling too.

    My mom bought Christmas gifts too and not even I knew what she bought for her. She gave Emma one gift each day starting on Christmas eve, because otherwise she would have opened all mine and the ones from my parents and ate all the goodies at once! She loved unwrapping her gifts and I loved it just as much seeing her doing it. She started gently open it and then she shredded the paper until it was just small pieces all over the floor. I can see her in front of me now, in my mind, how she's standing there, tail wagging, holding her gift with one paw and shredding the paper. I can hear the sound of paper shredding and then see her smiling happy face with a propeller tail wag and me saying "What did you got?!" She then took her gift, leaving all the shedding papers on the floor and went away to chew/eat her gift. How I miss that!

    We loved taking walks during Christmas Eve and meet her friends and wish them Merry Christmas. If it was snow she throw herself in the snow and make the perfect snow angels! She knew that I loved watching her making angels and I was laughing. She made a whole lot of angels on the snow covered lawn.

    Emma was dressed in her Christmas bandana... A red one. She got a new one last year. I have it here beside me in bed. We got it from a forum friend of ours. Red with paw prints and bones. She also had her Santa bandanna I bought her a few years ago. I took it out November 19 this year and put it on her for her annual Christmas card photo shoot. It was emotional to put it on her once again. When I put it away after last Christmas I didn't think I would put it on again. I was hoping she would wear it this Christmas, but that was the last time she wore it, 3 weeks ago today.

    I let her have her Christmas tree for the longest time last season, all the way through January. I knew in my heart that was the last Christmas with her and I didn't have the heart to take it down. So when the other decorations went down in boxes, the Christmas tree remained. It was hard to put it down.

    This year no decorations are up, nothing at all. Last week at work I saw my vacation application was accepted.... I applied for Christmas Eve off, because I wanted to be home, spending one last Christmas with my girl. I applied in October, but boss warned me it probably wouldn't get accepted because so many wanted to be off. Now I would rather be working, than spending it home, in bed, without my Emma.

    Don't feel like celebrating at all, my Christmas spirit is gone, it died with my heart. As my last words to my girl: "My heart belongs to you" and my golden heart was put on her head. I never saw that heart again. Never heard of it. Didn't get it back with the blankets.... And I prefer to not know. As I said my heart belongs with her, and that gold heart I had been wearing all her life, without taken it off was a symbol for my heart really was taken from my body that day. My heart belongs to her and always will be. I now bring her tag with me, when I leave the house. A big heart with the colors of the rainbow and the words:
    "EMMA GUARDIAN ANGEL PROTECT ME". Her guardian Angel really did protect her so many times through all surgeries, anesthetics and unconsciousness, in sickness and in health.

    One time, beginning of the fall we met a woman on our walk. I had never seen her before, so I assumed she just moved to the neighborhood. She had a little dog with her, a terrier the same age as Emma and we started talking. She said Emma looked younger than her years and I told her about all the problems she had had and the tumor she was fighting. The woman sat down and my first thought was. "Oh no she's gonna touch her lump. I HATE when people always does that." I was going to tell her please don't, when I realized what she wasn't going to touch, feel and squeeze the lump. She just sat there quietly with the hands floating in the air around her neck. She was giving my girl healing. I just stood there quietly, so did Emma, no words were spoken by any of us for a minute or two and it felt like the time stood still for a while. I got chills all over my body. Emma started to move and the lady said: "No she has had enough. I hope the life will get easier for you now". I thanked her so much and we went home as the winds started to blow. I have never seen her since and I believe that woman was Emma's guardian angel. Finally I had met her for real. A brunette, with glasses in her mid 50's, a perfect disguise for an Angel visiting earth.

    I know her spirit is with me every where, death isn't big enough to take her away from me. And I know she's watching over me now, my own guardian Angel, and wonder why I haven't put up her tree yet. Maybe, just maybe I will go out of bed, vacuum and just put her tree up tonight, nothing more, just her tree... Maybe the Christmas Eve off is a gift from my girl, I believe so, because her Christmas spirit will live on forever in my heart.

    Together Forever my girl. Always <3


    Emma all tucked in, in her bed with her Christmas tree. I tucked her in like that every night.


    Opening her gift from Santa


    Posing with her new bandana, last December, in a snow covered landscape.


    A real Angel knows how to make snow Angels!
    ~Veronica and Nikki~
    Sweet Emma, 16th of February 1996~26th of November 2010
    Always in my heart and soul. Together forever, my love....

    Nikki 6 months


    http://theblacklabrador.blogspot.com/

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    rookyduckling is offline Senior Member
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    that is so sweet ..............I feel all your pain.............hugs from all of us here .............tears here I felt like I really did know your Emma ..............such a sweet gentle spirit ...............run free sweet Emma girl

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    AngusFangus is offline Senior Member
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    Oh Veronica. I just love your heart. You write so beautifully about Emma. I feel even more than before like I knew her. I cry every time I read one of your stories.

    Crash had a Christmas collar - A plaid bow tie that my Mom bought him for Christmas. We put it on him every year on Christmas Eve when the family would come over. Now I hang it on our tree, along with the ornament I made for him the year he passed, and a special bell and stocking made for him by Joe. It's my most precious, beloved decoration on the tree, that collar. When I'm putting the ornaments on and I come to that one I always slow down, unwrap it very carefully, and spend several minutes arranging it and placing it just right.

    I hate to hear about you spending so much time in bed and feeling so sad, but I do understand. I cried every day for a year when I lost Crash. It would start as soon as I would get in the car to come home from work, and go on until I cried myself to sleep. I'm not sure how Kevin lived with me during that time.

    After almost a year had gone by, I went to an acpuncturist. She is one of the most kind, gentle souls I've ever met. I told her I'd been crying for a year (I was crying when I told her), and she said very gently, in her charming broken English, "A little crying is good. Crying all the time - no good." She gave me a treatment, and the tears stopped. Just like that. I was still sad, and still missed him, and of course I can still cry when I think of him, but I stopped crying all the time.

    I am still amazed at how she did that. Of course, after a year I had done a lot of grieving and it was really time to stop. But it was so abrupt. I don't know why I'm telling you this. Maybe something to think about when you are ready.

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    lcspt is offline Senior Member
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    May Emma's spirit bring you peace this Christmas eve.
    "In moments of joy all of us wished we possessed a tail we could wag." W. H. Auden

    Linda, Kona and Bo

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    AngusFangus is offline Senior Member
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    Something else I just thought of: I don't know if there are shelters where you are, but if there are, have you thought about going and spending time with the dogs there? They could use a friend, and so could you. I spent a lot of time at the shelter in the month after Crash passed, telling any dog who would listen (which was all of them) about my sweet Crash. I felt at the time like it helped me.

    That's where I met Angus and Simon. I wasn't *really* ready to adopt a dog when we got Angus (a month after we lost Crash), but I also couldn't stand one more day of the house being so quiet.

    Everyone is different, and you may feel that would make the hurt worse. I just wanted to tell you some things I remember about that time...
    Last edited by AngusFangus; 12-11-2010 at 11:03 AM.

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    {{{ Veronica }}}

    Miko (April 6, 2009), CGC

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    Neska74 is offline Senior Member
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    I love another Emma story. You write beautiful stories about her. That picture of her sleeping in her bed near the Christmas Tree - wow, it is so sweet and so peacefu. I hope it'll give you a little peace this time of the year to remember how absolutely happy she was with you. I like Connie`s idea about the shelter, perhaps even dropping off a new toy or two to some of the pups there, if that`s all you can handle, sometimes it`s hard to go in there and see all those faces waiting for a forever home. Sometimes little things like that make us feel better in the smallest way.
    I`m sad that you are still so sad, but no one can tell you how to grieve or for how long. How is your mom doing without Emma, you mention her a lot in your stories.

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    Your words paint lovey pictures and videos in my mind.
    thank you again for a wonderful Emma story.
    Linda and Zoë, the Umlaut
    Honolulu, Hawaii

    [

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    Dio's mama is offline Senior Member
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    Reading the Emma stories bring tears, but good ones. Thank you for writing them, they're beautiful. I also hope that you find peace this Christmas, even if only for a little while.
    Gabrielle
    Dio (Best Bud since July 18th, 2009)
    Kaity (Sweetheart since April 29th, 2012)

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    lisa's Avatar
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    Thank you again for such a beautiful Emma story, I look forward to reading them every week. I pray Christmas Eve brings you peace. I continue to pray for you, your sadness truly breaks my heart....because I know the pain you are feeling. Again I have said it before...we are all hear for you. ((Hugs)). Please take care of yourself.

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