As a new lab owner, I recently posted an inquiry asking for advice on working with my 4 month old puppy who is crated most of the day, realizing that our situation is not ideal. I was shocked to receive a reply from a member named Dani calling me unfair, accusing me of having unreal expectations and insinuating that I was not willing to spend time with my puppy. As a new owner who shares much time and love with my puppy, I was taken aback by this members response.
I am certain that Dani is an excellent dog owner and a better puppy trainer than I will ever be but I am also certain that she would never talk to her dog in the negative, judgmental tone that she used on a newcomer looking for help.
I read what Dani wrote and you are overreacting big time. She had constructive suggestions for you and all you heard was "unfair"? You must have a rather thin skin. A public forum is probably not for you.
Sharon, Blaise and Diesel.
Public forums are just that, public. you will get all kinds of comments and advice. Some good, some bad. and sometimes you have ot read past the words that upset you and see the advice in the post. (for the record - I do not disagree with Dani's post) But the thing is, you will have no control over what people say or how they say it. And sometimes we misinterprete the tone of posts (very very common).
Sometimes you also have to read your own post to see if maybe it could be interted differently. YOU know the background and details of the situation, people on the forum know just what you say. I think with the post you refer to, it sounded as though you were complaing about having a 4 month old puppy that wanted your attention on a workday evening after being alone for 8-9hrs. That is the contexts the forum had to comment on. But that may not be the "full" context.
Last edited by Tanya; 12-04-2010 at 04:53 PM.
Charlie (foster) and Rocky
I am sure you know the expression "cutting off your nose to spite your face"
this is a free site, rife with knowledgeable lab people..breeders, rescuers, just us common
dog lovers with real-life experiences..pick and choose what you wish, but to walk away
from a free buffet because one dish didnt suit you seems shortsighted..
I can see both sides of this situation. What the Gerzig posted may have been misinterpreted as could Dani's reply.
But I have to honestly say, that I've seen more than few posts from members to new members that come off very harshly and sometimes accusatory. I am sure the posters mean well, but I think we sometimes scare new members off by jumping all over them, even if the comments are well intentioned.
My pretty girl, Lexi!
i didnt read the original post but dani works in rescue. she has a big heart and only wants the best for the dogs. she picks up the pieces after owners decide they dont have time for their dogs/puppies, have unrealistic expectations or their dogs dont match the furniture and hundreds of other equally ridiculous excuses. her advice was well meant and constructive because she doesnt want your dog to become a shelter statistic.
I'm sure you are right Lexi's mom and I'm sure I'm guilty of it sometimes
that said - if you come here asking for advice and you get some "take aways" to think about that's not a bad thing ...
as Tanya points out one of the nice things about an active board is the range of opinions you get
I didn't read the orginal post - but I can say (having in the last week been asked to foster 5 puppies under the age of 10 weeks) a LOT of people get a puppy on an impulse or not knowing how much work it is ... I'd way rather they recognized fast they were in too deep and surrendered the puppy before they didn't housetrain, socialize or work with the puppy at all so we end up working to place a untrained 8-18 month old - a much much more difficult task - and one that occasionally just can't be done)
If you want to leave nobody is shutting the door - the fact you told us you were leaving suggests you will be checking our responses (an aside: I always find it weird when people tell everybody they are leaving.. and rarely read their posts - the word puppy in the snippet caught my attention). You may find you learn a lot - or think a lot - if you choose to hang around awhile (and welcome to the board if it isn't too late!)
“I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.” H. Keller
I didn't read your original post but I can say everyone here means well. At times perhaps it can be overwhelming at the responses but you must keep in mind that everyone here wants the best for our labs. You hear lots of stories of young labs ending up in shelters due to owners not realizing how much work the little guys are. I see my dogs as my 4 legged children, and if they need 2 walks a day plus fetch and play dates then that is what i do.
Hunter & Chrome