So a friend of mine asked me how Diesel was doing since he'd gotten out of the hospital. So I figure if he asked he must care enough to hear, but knowing he doesn't have pets I didn't go into the whole mommy-mode loaded with details but gave him the hi-lites. His response...
"Geez, that sounds like a pain in the ass, I sure hope you didn't get a lemon."
A lemon? He dare categorize my beloved pup as an object, an inconvenience, a burden?
Floored me. Silenced me. Window for a retort... gone. No one would ever say that about someone's child (you would hope).
What is it with people who do not recognize that pets are like children to us?
Chances are his foot will be in his mouth again in the future... Any ideas on what I could have said? I'm still shaking my head.
"Maybe, but he's my pain in the ass, and I wouldn't have him any other way" comes to mind. -Or - "Not anymore a pain in the ass than when you're (insert family member) went through (insert medical issue). Is he/she a lemon?"
What a callous jerk! I think the look of shock would have said all that needed to be said. I have known lots of people like that. My first lab, Mo, she was my angel. When we were transferring off Kodiak Island, Alaska to Yorktown, Virginia a lot of people asked if I was just giong to leave her. I said "Yep, her, the kid, the couch, the tv, we'll get all new when we move..." People that aren't pet owners don't get just how much they mean to us.
I actually met a man while I was walking Lola one day...he had a lab with him as well. I began telling him that Lola was going to the vet to get some hip x-rays to see if she had hip dysplasia. He began telling me about a friend of his whose dog had HD and had the surgery for it and how very expensive it was. His response after that was DISGUSTING!!!
He made a gun with his fingers and I quote " I have a 22 that would have fixed that"
I could not get away from him fast enough...I think the look of disgust on my face said it all.
we got similair reponses from some people because of the amount of money we spent on Harveys ED diagnosis, surgery and aftercare. One person was particularly cruel and said 'you could have spent the money on a holiday of a lifetime'. Yeah, right, cause i would trade 2 weeks of sunshine for my boy..i think not. That person is no longer a friend. As others have said, he is like the son i never gave birth to. He is a big part of our family. I would have done and still would pay any amount of money to have him pain free, that is what i agreed to when he picked me
I feel better & agree that the look of shock & disgust on my face along with my silence probably said it all. But you know, it's one of those scenarios where you are so astounded by some moron's comments that you would love to throw a zinger in their face but you are at a loss for words. Even worse when they walk away & then it comes to you! Wasn't so in this case, I was floored for a few days.
Never ceases to amaze me though how non dog people freely voice their opinions. When I was first training Diesel on the leash, I got the following:
One woman's advice when I was trying to train Diesel not to pull on the leash, "hold back enough of the leash so you've got a good portion available & whip him really hard." Not just a tap, she actually flung her arm in demonstration like she was a circus tamer....
A man walking towards us saw Diesel jumping up on people approaching us. Aside from Diesel being really young & still learning at that time, what he did not see was excitable eye contact given by the person welcoming & encouraging Diesel to jump up. His advice? "Knee him in the chest, you just have to knock the wind out of him a couple times before he learns. Dogs are strong, you won't hurt him. If I see he hasn't improved in a couple weeks, I'll do it for you."...
My retort to the ones above was the same & spoken without hesitation... "Sorry, I'm not into corporal punishment. Do you smack your kid upside the head when he spills his milk?" And added for the a**hole, "Please don't knee my dog in the chest, I don't have enough money to waste on bail."
And just yesterday, Diesel, being a lab, loves to eat all in sight. I have to continually correct this with a quick snap of his leash - we have the half nylon/half choke collar that even when pulled taut still has 2 fingers room, but with his turkey neck (lol) he feels it tighten up. As I do this I give a firm "leave it!". A "concerned citizen" came up to me & told me not to be so mean to my puppy.
Now I do give her kudos to intervene if she saw something she felt was "abuse" but it escalated when I tried to calmly tell her that what I was doing was "correcting the behaviour, it is part of obedience training" & asked if she had a dog, I wasn't surprise when she said no. She continued to chastice me when I finally had enough & asked her if she prefer I just let my puppy do as he wants & just continue to rush him to the emergency when he's ingested something he shouldn't have & asked if she'd like to pay for our weekend tab of $1500. That shut her up pretty fast.
Some people will never understand that our dogs are family. I just don't waste my breath. I know people who have dogs but they are not part of the family. Very sad.
It's not surprising that a forum of Lab owners, all of whom take their Labs seriously and value them, would be almost totally aghast at anyone who doesn't value dogs as we do.
But, IMO, we need to respect where the person is coming from, their background, their previous experiences, and the possiilities of their changing their minds with different experiences.
People with whom we share the same values will be closer friends, whether it's progressive/liberal or conservative/tea party, evangelical/fundamentalist or agnostic/UU, etc.
I googled percent people consider dogs as family members and got several articles ranging from stating it was 30 to 75% on the pro family member side.
It said that a lot depends on the person's background.
If they grew up in a rural area where animals were considered as property--potential assets or expensive liabilities, dogs were regarded similarly: to be disposed of when they became more costly than their expected financial benefit.
When owners were not of a rural background, they much more often considered dogs as family members.
Other variables were also discussed -- the presence of children in the family, etc.
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