Cesar Millan?

[rangersmom]

rangersmom --
Just curiously --- what do you see as the difference between being "confident" and "assertive"?
Steve

An example:
A man walks into the room, he has a calm demeanor, he stands straight, his head held high. He looks directly at people in their eyes. He is confident. He is assertive.

Another man strides into the room, he is brisk, also has his head held high, but when he looks at people he is more intent and direct. He'll walk up to people and thrust out his hand or immediately strike up a conversation - maneuvering it to what he wants to talk about. Kind of bullying other people. He is aggressive.

We've all see confident dogs and assertive dogs as well. There is a difference.

**This post has been modified because the author is Lame***

[3TailsWaggin]

I think he is fantastic at marketing himself.

[Baloo317]

rangersmom --
Just curiously --- what do you see as the difference between being "confident" and "assertive"?
Steve

An example:
A man walks into the room, he has a calm demeanor, he stands straight, his head held high. He looks directly at people in their eyes. He is confident.

Another man strides into the room, he is brisk, also has his head held high, but when he looks at people he is more intent and direct. He'll walk up to people and thrust out his hand or immediately strike up a conversation - maneuvering it to what he wants to talk about. He is assertive.

We've all see confident dogs and assertive dogs as well. There is a difference.

yikes!!

I know this is kind of splitting hairs, but I think that it relates back to why people get their "back up" over Cesar Millan's terminology. :

assertive was once seen as interchangeable with aggressive (how you've used it!) but it is not!

I am in the social work profession, and being assertive is very very important in my field. Being assertive means to respect the rights of others while ensuring that your own personal rights are respected as well. (I could go further into this topic as I have taught it in formal settings, but I'll stop there to avoid going off on a tangent!)

As it eventually plays out, a person who has embraced the key tenets of assertive behaviour is able to exude confidence.

I realize that I am not going to change anybody's mind re: Cesar Millan, but I have to throw in my two cents!

If anyone has ever heard of Monty Roberts (horse whisperer) http://www.montyroberts.com/ you will understand why Cesar Millan is so effective. Going back to nature (yes, our dogs are animals and thus a part of nature, as are we!) works a lot of the time. I have, however, seen people apparently using "Cesarized" methods, that I believe Cesar himself would cringe at if he ever saw.... these people just don't get it!

I believe that Cesar's methods can and will work in many different instances, but you have to really "get" what he is trying to say, mostly a lot of the stuff concerning different types of energy!

I will say that I have had dogs my whole life, and I am also heavily involved with retraining SPCA dogs up for adoption, and I find that Cesar's methods are, for the most part, extremely effective. His is a concept that is not entirely difficult to comprehend, but sometimes the simplest solution is the best!

I don't believe in following any one "guru" to the exclusion of all others, and I do not exclusively use "Cesarized" methods, however I must say that his philosophy rings the most true for me, out of all that I have read, been taught, etc. Mother Nature is always the best teacher, as far as I am concerned, and Cesar seems to have the good sense to respect that!

Anyways, sorry for the long post, but I would encourage people to remember to always keep an open mind, it is not about being "right" or being "wrong", it is about finding what works best for our dogs and ourselves!

- Kate

[steveandginger]

Kate --

That was an great post, in my opinion. I agree with you about the assertive thing. I see assertiveness as a being much different than aggressiveness. Aggressive would describe a person, to me, who tries to lead by running over other people, often times using force or violence. An assertive person, on the other hand, is someone who, to me, is able to give commands and be a leader, while also being respectful and fair.

Anyway, my question to rangersmom was just to see what SHE saw as the definition of assertive. So often, I have been in discussions or debates where I am disagreeing vehemently with the other person, only to find that what we are actually differing on is not the ISSUE itself, but the ways in which we define the words we are using. Clearly, we have exposed some differences in the meanings we apply to the word assertive. If I held the same meaning for the word "assertive" as it appears that rangersmom does, I would not have "warm fuzzies" over someone who encourages me to be assertive around my dog! However, I personally view the word assertive as being a positive word.

I continue to watch Cesar; it's been a month now since I started this post and I've seen several more of his shows. I do not see him as a "god" or anything like that, but I do learn alot from watching his shows, and I find that the better I am able to be calm and assertive with my puppy, the better our training and interactions seem to go. This is just my experience.

Steve

[Baloo317]

Thank you!

I come across the assertiveness vs. aggressiveness thing all the time and it's a bit of a pet peeve of mine (I.e. people being rude and selfish and calling themselves "assertive" Grr!!) >

To me, respect is what ultimately differentiates assertion from aggression; when you are assertive respect for self and others (whether they walk on two legs or four!) is always your #1 priority, when you are aggressive, "getting your own way at all costs" is your #1 priority!

I think it really is a shame that people who could probably benefit from Cesar Millan's methods don't do so because of simple terminology... words are just words, it's the actions, energy and most importantly results that judgement of any technique should be based on I think...

[clear]

I actually watch and like him, yes some people may not like how he goes about things, but if it works it works. I do not like being over agressive with a dog (dominate him) that could lead to dog attacks. But hey it works on people and it works on dogs.

[rangersmom]

I'm sitting here reading what everyone said after my post and thinking to myself, "What the hell are these people talking about?" There is an absolute DIFFERENCE in assertive and aggressive!!!!!

Then I REREAD my post.....OOps that's what I get for not having my fingers keep up with my brain sometimes. I meant to point out the difference.

Assertive and aggressive are not inter-changeable. I'm an event planner. I have to be assertive everyday and manage other assertive and sometimes aggressive vendors!!!!

Anyway, we agree. I just typed it wrong.

[Baloo317]

It's all good! ;D ;D