work and socializing

**browneyedgirl** · 09-01-2007, 12:02 AM

Last year was my first year at my job...I was one of the youngest in our staff and I think I made some mistakes as in socializing too much (not that I wasn't doing my work, but just hanging out w/coworkers too much, in and outside of work)

I guess I regret it because I think it took away from me looking or acting "professional" and being associated with certain people-people judged me based on them....as the year continued, I realized the people I was hanging out w/ are not my favorite, but instead I was just clinging onto a group in fear of being on the outskirts....especially because our job requires working with each other a good amount

anyways, I want to make some changes by not associating so much w/these people, or socializing w/any coworkers a lot, but at the same time, I don't want to burn my bridges....does that make sense? I guess I just don't want to get too caught up w/the drama at work...I did it last year and I think it was an immature mistake on my part

any advice?

Di · 09-01-2007, 12:09 AM

I'm not sure how old you are, but I have been at the same job for 15yr.s and only go to a few select funtions that are r/t to work and have two really good friends from work! I get along great with most of my co-workers but really dont mix "buisness with pleasure" much at all! Maybe its my age, have had this job since I was 31. and I just turned 47-this works really well for me, in time you will find what works for you!

**browneyedgirl** · 09-01-2007, 12:15 AM

thanks...i'm in my late-20's...most of the coworkers are 35+, but there are a few others in the late 20's, early 30's that I was socializing with....I think I did only to find my little niche at work, but months later realized they're not really my kinda people....I guess I still want to be somewhat social w/them and others--more just for work purposes....I just don't want to seem like i'm all of a sudden ignoring them....I guess this is a part of growing up :P

**RangerMom** · 09-01-2007, 12:18 AM

I guess I would suggest a slow disengagement. Gradually doing more and more things with other people or be "busy" when some of the social things go on. This way it won't seem like you're just dropping them but you can still do some social things with them.

**imported_MyGoldenBoy** · 09-01-2007, 12:33 AM

I agree with Rangermom. And it does work with relatively little hard feelings on both sides.

**mollyrock** · 09-01-2007, 07:48 AM

agree with Jeanne too.
If you have pushy nosy coworkers(I have one at work) you may need to be armed with an excuse. Have plenty ready.

I don't care to socialize too much with my coworkers. It is awkward sometimes because I am always saying no. It isn't that I don't like them, just don't want to hang out with them after hours.

**Rushpuppy** · 09-01-2007, 07:57 AM

Originally Posted by mollyrock

I don't care to socialize too much with my coworkers. It is awkward sometimes because I am always saying no. It isn't that I don't like them, just don't want to hang out with them after hours.

I have no co-workers other than the janitors and the Pastor. I sure don't want to socialize with the Pastor as he is a royal pain-in-the a$$. How a man of God can be so self-centered, egotistical, and a braggert I'll never know but I get enough of that me me me stuff at work. I told my DH if I go into the hospital for any reason or I die he is the last person I want to be there. :

The janitors are a different story. They are practically family to me as is some of the volunteers but I don't socialize outside of work with anyone. It's not that I don't want to mix the two but I love my privacy. My DH is the same.

I think it just depends on the kind of person you are. I think if you wean yourself slowily away from your fellow co-workers it would probably be better for you and them. Be friendly but not friends.

**amazongold** · 09-01-2007, 11:35 AM

Have a ready excuse when asked to join in something outside of work hours - "My dog needs to be fed or walked," etc. works best for me!

Di · 09-01-2007, 11:51 AM

Originally Posted by AmazonGold

Have a ready excuse when asked to join in something outside of work hours - "My dog needs to be fed or walked," etc. works best for me!

Have used that one myself a time or two

!

**imported_delmonico** · 09-01-2007, 11:53 AM

I've been here for over 7 years, other than the store Christmas party I don't socialize with anyone but the other guy in my dept and we were friends long before we knew each other. I'm over twice the age of most of my co-workers and so many come and go, I joke sometimes I don't bother to learn their names till they've been there a month. ;D

The downside to my friend and I working at the same place is we don't get to socialize as much, we try to keep it so one of us is here as much as possible when the store is open and so we don't get to go to the same places often.