We made it through the bday

[imported_lindapepsi]

We did it got through the day,we talked and had supper and cake was sure hard and different but we did it.I cried all last nite in bed and was wiped out all day today,thinking about it but my 2 boys and myself celebrated and it was okay sad but okay.Signing just mom on his card was soooo strange to not have his dad sign also,but Harry was here with us in our hearts and that will never leave us.I feel like all I do is cry cry cry.arry wouldnt want me to give up and just sit home and cry he would want me to get out and see friends do things I know this but its so hard to do.Next month we are sprinkling some of his ashes at his camp he loved it there in the woods so peaceful and quiet no phones ect ,was his relaxing place.I dont know if I can go and do this but my 2 boys said if I cant its okay they are going to go,some of his ashes will be in 3 urns one for each of us to have,I cant even bring them home yet it just hurts to much to have them here at home right yet.I pray every nite and talk to him I wonder does he know so many questions along that line does he know ,I believe in god yes do not attend church and now have so many questions I am about 1/2 crazy wanting answeres.I still keep his hat on the didningroom table and his vest hanging on the coat tree ,ppl some anyways think I should put them away but they comfort me and can stay there for years till I am ready to put them away.Thank you everyone here so much for replying and letting me get things out on here,sometimes putting words into print gelps some.THANKS

[Janna and Boomer]

I don't know what to say...I can feel your sorrow. :'( *HUGE HUGS* from here...may God give you strength every day. He will not let you go through anything that you can't handle...even though I know it seems like it. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. We're thinking about you, come here and talk any time you need to.

[einstein's legacy]

I'm glad you posted about this, I was wondering how you were going to get through this "first", but I'm glad you did. Just remember, it's one day at a time. I think Harry was a very lucky man to have such a loving, adoring wife and such wonderful boys. You are in my thoughts.

[Scout and friends]

Hi Linda

You express yourself so well. I'm so impressed with your strength.

It's good to read that you found your way through everything today and had a birthday celebration for your son. It's hard isn't it, going through the motions - but sometimes that's what we have to do.

Everyone has their own timeline. You'll figure out what's right for you with your husband's things. When it's right to do something with them.

I hope you sleep well tonight. My mum had a hard time turning her mind off in the early days after my father died. When she slept well, I was grateful.

Take care Linda
Judith

[theoconbrio]

Thanks so much for writing this. I have nothing I could say that would be helpful or useful, but I just wanted to you know that I did read your message and it meant a lot to me. I understand about keeping his things out. Don't let anyone tell you what you "should" feel or do; you will do what feels right for you in your own time.

[1scottie2labbies]

I'm glad things went well for you. I admire how you are dealing with this. If his things bring you comfort that is all that matters.

[WeHeartLabs]

God bless you, Linda...youre doing SOOOOO amazingly well...dont be too hard on yourself...and youre right..he would want you to be happy and move on but im sure he also is touched at the depth of your grief. It's a true testament to the relationship you shared with him.

[Taffys Mom]

As was said above, your posts are a testament to your love for Harry, your marriage and your life together. I hope one day your pain will ease and you can find comfort and peace in your wonderful memories. I am so sorry your life with Harry was cut short so very early.

And yes, I do believe he knows.

[Mama3tikes]

I'm so glad you posted I though of you and your boys all day! Good job on getting through it! I understand about keeping his stuff out! I have my sisters house keys on my key chain and I keep her hair brush in my purse.

[TangerineFizz]

Hang in there Linda. Thanks for letting us know how the day went, I was wondering and wishing and hoping it would go okay for all of you. I'm glad to hear that it did.

As for putting away Harry's things, or bringing home his ashes, you do what you want to do, what makes you comfortable, not what others think is right, or okay. I really think everyone grieves in different ways, and I think you just gotta go as slow or as fast as feels right to you.

I am glad that you are sharing stuff with us, at least we can provide a bit of support. Do you have a Church nearby where you can go to to ask your questions? I know you don't go but I doubt that they would turn you away during this time of need, and I really think that it could be a good place for you to go for some answers, and even some support.

Keep us posted. We are all concerned for you.