So we sent my MIL a plant for her bday...

[Makena]

I'd go with your gut on unsupervised visits.* It's your job to protect those kids, and the grandparents have shown that they aren't to be trusted right now.* I think you were a big person sending her a plant at all.* Keep your chin up - TRY not to let it bother you, because it will eat you up inside, and that's probably exactly what those people want.* My heart breaks for your dh.* Not being accepted, or accepting of his kids is a pretty harsh blow.* Chalk it up to being cold and ignorant, and walk away (for now, at least.)

[IzzyLucyWillie]

I'm guessing this is a case where your "Damned it you do and Damned if you don't". No matter what you do she is going to find fault with it. I think you were the better person in sending the plant for her birthday. I don't blame you for not wanting the kids to be around the negativity she may spew. Kids are smart and even the smallest comment will be noticed. It is not like she is reaching out to the kids in the first place. Kudos to you for they way you have held your cool and handled the situation.