Mom had a tough night last night (revised title)

[Chester B. Dickens]

See below....

[AbbyandMolly]

(((((((hugs)))))))

I'd like to ditto that on behalf of my grandma

[Paula]

[sawyersammy]

Sorry Dan.

[imported_Belles mom]

I have a mother like that too, at least 40 years ago she was. I haven't spoken to her in nearly 20 years now....maybe she's changed....

[Taffys Mom]

I'm sorry for whatever is going on Dan.

[zgirls]

Ah, Dan, been there, done that......my mother , bless her heart , can absolutely drive me up a wall........and I do love her dearly......here's the latest example....my father's only surviving sister died on June 6 in Phoenix.....he had not seen her for several years ...he wanted to but Mother would not go visit because of the distance and my father couldn't imagine going by himself to see his sister.......so my uncle, who is in very poor health, put off the service until July 3.......my mother refuses to fly because she has a fear of flying nor would she take the train.....so they , in their late 70's, decide to drive from Virginia to Arizona......they left last Thursday arriving in Phoenix on Sunday, attended the service on Monday and left Phoenix to come home on Tuesday, July 4.....fortunately they call me every night and have done it so far.......but to put themselves through that drive ! Amazing! Crazy! Oh , well, they are my parents though....and I love them dearly......

[jzgrlduff]

Hey, if it makes you feel better

[Chester B. Dickens]

Yesterday was her 73rd birthday. My brother and two our families decided to take her out to dinner. We told her as early as 2 wks ago that I would be picking her up between 5 - 5:30 PM.

ALL DAY LONG, my SIL, SU, and I call to remind her of this timetable. Her phone in the apt just rings -- she's out.

I arrived at 5:15 last night, to the minute. She's standing outside her Assisted Living Facility. I park and walk up to her.

She's blubbering - and then starts yelling at me: "Where were you? I've been waiting her since 3PM when you said you'd pick me up! The residents kept asking me and asking me what I was doing standing out here in the heat, and I kept telling them that my family was coming and then your DIDN'T COME! YOU DIDN'T COME! Wahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa."

"Mom, Mom - Calm down! I told you 5 - 5:30 and it's only -- "

"No no no no no no no no no! I've been waiting and waiting."

I tell her we tried to call. "No you didn't! No you didn't!"

Now I'm starting to boil. We re-arranged a ton of details for everyone to make this dinner. And she drops this bomb: "I'm not going. I'm going back inside to eat by myself...."

ARGH! "Mom, no you're not."

And on and on. FINALLY, I get her in the car, and she's STILL ripping me a new a-hole. At one point, she says, "I'M NOT GOING!" and as we're moving in the car, she opens the door and makes to get out!!!!!!!!!!

Me: "SHUT. THAT. DOOR. RIGHT. NOW!"

Her: "Stop yelling at me!"

Hoo - this is ugly. She shuts the door.

"When we get there, I'm going to run into the bathroom and spend the whole dinner there."

And at that point, I decide to stop playing. I merely say (calmly), "Okay, you're welcome to do that, but the rest of the family will be sitting at the table and eating. I, for one, am hungry and have been looking forward to eating at this restaurant all day. But if you'd rather spend your birthday in a restaurant bathroom, that's fine w/me..."

She tries to bait me a few more times, but I'm silent. She hits me with some bombs about her condo selling and how 'shoved aside' she feels through the entire process (even though she said at one point in the condo-sale/move project that she never wanted to go back there again - NOW she wants to go back and how DARE we prevent her) and I say nothing in response.

Finally, she dissolves in tears. I silently hand her a Kleenex and keep on driving. Gradually, she pulls herself together.

Meal wasn't much better. She didn't spend it in the ladies' room (so there's progress there), but she got majorly snippy throughout. We ordered meals that came w/a side salad that was served first. She ordered a caesar salad w/grilled chicken. So there's no point of a side salad. Ours arrive and we begin eating. And she bellows over and over again: "Well, where's MY food? How come I didn't get MY meal?"

Mom, these aren't entrees, they are house salads. Meals are coming.

"You're all eating (not true - kids didn't get house salads, either) and I'm not"

Mom, have some of mine until yours comes.

"I don't WANT yours! I WANT MINE!!"

OMG, it's like dealing w/another toddler.

When I think that we spent close to $200 for a meal that NONE of us enjoyed, I could just cry.

Oh, Dad. I miss you so............

[kaytris]

Does she not have the early stages of Alzheimer's? There are support groups and counsellors that can help you with this....