Asperger Syndrome

**momofalab** · 10-20-2010, 08:18 AM

I am looking for information from people that have/known, or have children with aspergers. My son was just recently diagnosed with Aspergers. He is 4yrs of age, and I am still trying to soak this all up.

This is something we have known for awhile with him. We just hadn't found the right doctor to diagnose him. We even had one doctor tell us it was our parenting skills, that my son was fine.

on Monday, my Husband and I went and had a meeting with another neurologist. He will be meeting with my son on Friday. I never led on my inclining that I thought he had Aspergers. I was greatful when he said that after talking to me he can tell it isn't my parent skills. I asked him what his gut was telling him, and he said he would like to meet with our son first, but he said Aspergers is a possibility. I did all I could do not to cry. In a way, I longed for this diagnosis, then once I got the diagnosis it was like I was hit with a death sentence. I have a million questions, and the internet only makes me find more questions to think about.

Just a brief backgroud, he is extremely smart, lacks social skills. Rather be a loner, then around people. He has a lot of sensory issues also.

Will they keep him in normal classes? Or will he have to go to special schools? Is there medications to treat the "Highs"? Could any of this be caused by delay of delivery. I had a difficult delivery with him, and fear this could of caused it. Any thoughts? Thanks for your time.

**BigBrownDog** · 10-20-2010, 09:11 AM

I don't have any first hand knowledge - but you should contact your school district. Many (at least in NJ) have early intervention programs that make a world of difference for those children. They can also evaluate your child (which would be appropriate for a 4 year old anyway) and probably give you a lot more info than you will get off the net.

And - I bet that if you check there is probably a local support group for people who have children with autism spectrum disorders. This is not a death sentence - many people with Aspergers lead full and productive lives. I am sorry for your shock and hurt - but you can make a big difference for your child by acting on this now.

**Luvmydog2much** · 10-20-2010, 09:13 AM

My nephew is 12.5 and was diagnosed at 3 with Aspergers.

He's a great kid, very intelligent, memory like a steel trap. He has his days where he's just 'frustrated' and he is socially a bit inept, but the kids in his class (he goes to a normal Catholic school, is an alter boy, plays soccer and softball) do pick on him because he's just different. He likes very structured play, and if you aren't doing something right, he tells you. He also has no concept that telling people he doesn't like their clothes/hair/shoes/breath or perfume, he has no choice in being 100% open and honest.

He has a very hard time with light. He also can't stomach strange smells. At his Autism group there's a boy who doesn't like sounds of a high pitch. The funny thing is, all of the kids in the group get along fabulously.

We've had a lot of luck with trying to keep Jordan socially grounded. ie. 'If you do that and your friends found out, they'd make fun of you.' because he has no concept of correct social behaviors.

I think you and your son will do just fine. Jordan does very well in school, plays piano like Mozart and is just a goofy, giddy kid.

My recommendation would be to try to find a group of other parents who can help you to understand and see for yourself what these kids are like as they age, that will put your mind at ease some. And give him something he can do well, better than other kids in his class ie. violin or piano or teach him to play the guitar. (4 is a great age to start!)

**mandaz000** · 10-20-2010, 09:24 AM

My sister has a lot of knowledge with Aspergers. She ran an autisim group for several years. She is almost positive my cousin has Aspergers but his parents are in denial. He's 9. His mom asked a doctor once when he was younger and he just said he's a boy he'll grow out of it, well he hasn't and no one can convince her to find another doctor. It's sad that there is so much help out there and some parents would rather ignore. I think you should be proud of yourself for seeking help for you child. It's not an easy thing to do. With the proper help he can live a very normal life and i don't think a difficult/late delivery had anything to do with it. If you pm me your email address i can see if my sister has time to discuss your concens with you. She is pretty busy but it couldn't hurt to try! Hang in there, he's high functioning. That's a good thing.

**Ender's Mom** · 10-20-2010, 10:32 AM

I have no firsthand knowledge. But in my office I have come across this issue.

So ... if it makes you feel any better, there are asperger college students. (this one in particular was very gifted musically... only came to our office because he was having trouble in his "normal" classes)

As someone who sees the other side of the fence educationally... as a parent you MUST be an advocate for your child but there is a line one can cross if your expectations are not realistic... i.e. while public schools MUST accommodate a child with a disability, after high school the law changes to "reasonable accommodation" (I know this is a long ways off... but in the few cases I've seen, I think it's important for parents to know these things).

Research research research... it's not a death sentence... there are a lot of resources out there. I would say get involved in the community for support and ideas. They can probably help you out far better than this forum.

**jzgrlduff** · 10-20-2010, 11:25 AM

I have no experience, but wanted to bump this in hopes that Mama3tikes see this.

**bibber** · 10-20-2010, 11:29 AM

The photographer we use to do Darby's photos has a son with Asperger's. I'll contact her to see if she can recommend any place to go for info. Good luck to you - I'm sure it's quite traumatic to hear that diagnosis, but from everything I've heard, you'll all be fine.

**HarveysMum** · 10-20-2010, 03:50 PM

I know a boy with Asperger's. He was in my daughters class at school, a main stream school. He is extremely smart, has an amazing memory and likes everything to be structured. He doesnt cope well with change, could get frustrated easily and became fixated on some things. Having said all that, i spent some time with him between the ages of 4 - 11 and he was one of the most charming people i have ever met.

When it came to moving him to secondary education (11 - 16), his parents chose to send him to a 'special' school. They obviously know thier son best and felt he would do better there.

**Mama3tikes** · 10-20-2010, 04:18 PM

Hi, I work with people with autisim (adults all over 21). I would encourage you to seek out a early intervention program, 4 is a great age to start teaching the social skills he is going to need and you can still make them a game. He won't have to go to a "special" school as long as the aspergers dosen't get in the way of being in a "normal" calssroom, but with the behaviors I hear about in class these days I think he'll be ok. If you need to bounce information about this off me feel free to IM me. See the Dr. don't hold back on your concerns and let me know if I can do anything to make this an easier pill to accept.

**Sams Mom** · 10-20-2010, 04:52 PM

My sister was in the "gifted" program.She said she knew a lot of kids like Sheldon on BBT. She figures he is supposed to have Aspergers. The "gifted" program was for the very smart kids in school. It was an effort to reach them before they got bored with school (by the slow pace of regular classes).

I know, I know it's a TV show, but I do think kids with Aspergers do fairly well, they just have a few social issues like Sheldon.